Archive for the ‘sarcasm’ Tag

7 Reasons I Refuse To Make New Years Resolutions   9 comments

 

 

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I refuse to make any New Years resolutions this year. Why would I? Why should I? You can’t make me. And I’m not gonna. I have my reasons. See below.

1. I have no follow through. Unless you count not making resolutions because I fully intend to follow through on that. So I guess I have selective follow through, like my children have selective hearing.

2. I am already perfect, with the exception of all of my flaws which I consider necessary and rather endearing. There are those that might disagree but that’s maybe something they can resolve to live with.

3. I refuse to change. I’ll make change…you know if you need some quarters for the meter or something, but the change sounds quite horrific. Hot sweats, irritability, hair loss, who came up with this fresh hell? And why would one want actively decide to do this? No thank you sir..I’ll take a pass on this.

4. I’m really busy right now. If I take on more thing I might have to give up some things I actually like to do. Like sleeping or practicing sarcasm on my cat.

5. I have a fear of failure. I don’t really. I’m actually quite good at it and have recently decided that while some might see failure as a flaw, I see it as a well honed skill. I wish I could get paid to fail at stuff…I’d be really wealthy.

6. I have been known in the past to set unrealistic goals. Like being the first wife to not fake orgasm. I really tried…but there was this show I really wanted to watch and I heard the toast pop….so yeah..

7. I’m not a fan of pressure. Unless it is applied by the skillful hands of a licensed masseuse.

It’s not like I’m apposed to setting goals and striving to achieve them. I just like to set the bar in my life on the low side. So I set small goals for myself like remember to breathe and to try and not to fall asleep while driving again. While success is not always achieved it is certainly, in these instances, worthy of pursuing.

So if you are out there today pondering how to be the best you in 2014 remember this. You are already the sum total of all the mistakes, missteps, missed trains, misfortunes and missed goals of your past….and all of these perceived fails and falters have defined the human you were meant to be right now in this moment. Life isn’t about wishing for something better to happen to you tomorrow it’s about feeling better about who you are today.

Happy New Year Everyone!

 

 

 

 

Posted December 31, 2013 by janyceresh in Uncategorized

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Let’s Do This Thing…..For Now   Leave a comment

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Okay so some of you….and you know who you are ….have been encouraging…although sometime it felt like nagging me ( with love) …to start a blog…
 
Side bar: you would not believe how long it just took me to insert a word using this format…holy$&@? Batman…if I had that kind of time to waste I’d start writing a blog…wait a minute…
 
Anyway I have made the decision to start.
 
I am a great starter of things …not big on finishing things.  So we will see how far I take this.  I’m not saying I give up I just move on….I have a tendency to chase shiny objects and quite frankly I have the attention span of an embryo..that being said I am fully committed ….for now….to bring you as much sarcastic ranting as I possible until I get bored and move on or you get bored and leave me…but don’t leave me because I have extreme abandonment issues as well. We might touch on that later so stay tuned..
 
I will be reposting some of my facebook rants here because along with my raging ADD and abandoment issues I also have a tendency to be a bit lazy…. 
 
Sidebar: this isn’t much of a rant so far as it is a rather sad bit of insight in to my shortcomings…that could really be a blog in and of itself.  
 
So there you have it kids….you have just read the first post.  Was it earth shattering…probably not….was it informative…I think so….after all it is quite possible some of you were unaware of my multiple psychosis and now you know.  Your welcome.
 
Happy to have you aboard…..
 
 

Posted September 10, 2013 by janyceresh in Uncategorized

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