Our life is like drywall dust….you never know where we’re going to land   5 comments

IMG_0456A year ago today…my life was unfolding nicely. We had just finished our latest home improvement project/necessary repair of damage caused by a huge bathroom flood, and we were enjoying a much needed time out from the gang at Home Depot. Lovely people, helpful, super styling in their orange aprons; but sometimes you just have to widen your social circle to include those who don’t know the intimate details of every structural failure your home has ever bestowed upon you. It was also nice to have some disposable income again for those little extras like food and name brand toilet paper.

Did I mention we completely renovated our entire house top to bottom? I didn’t? Well let’s back this story up to the beginning of the end. ( if you chose to…now would be a good time to bask in the excitement of my flawless foreshadowing) take as long as you like. The story will continue as soon as your finished.

And for those of you just rejoining us …back to the story …or as like to call it the Reno to end all others.

It all began one morning in late August. I was headed downstairs to do laundry when I felt a drop of water land on my head. I looked up and to my horror saw that the ceiling light was filled with water and once again I knew that our house was giving us the middle finger.

The leak was coming from the ensuite. So the demo began. However, once we changed the tiles, tub, toilet, vanity and re-painted the bathroom the rest of the house didn’t quite match up. So logically we decided to rip up the rest of the flooring and replace it too. And as anyone knows if you’re replacing the floors it’s a perfect time to paint and install wainscotting …so of course we did. This was turning into a real life “if you give a mouse a cookie” situation..

Once we had finished the painting, the light fixtures looked tired so we replaced the lot, and after we shed the new light on the old kitchen cupboards well you know they had to go too. Going without an en suite for 6 months meant I had spent a lot more time in the main bathroom and it inspired me to change out the vanity and toilet in both the remaining bathrooms. I felt there should be a cohesive flow to the house and they were really the only rooms that had remained unchanged and It seemed cruel to leave them out.

Spoiler alert.. we went with the low flow push button flush option on the toilet, I thought it would get the kids excited about flushing again….it did not.

Side note. If you ever decide to change out the flooring of your house and have pets and reside with numerous people who are incapable of removing footwear or carrying a beverage without splashing it all about like a drunken cave person, you must avoid purchasing and installing black tile. It was a beautiful lesson in buyers remorse if ever I’ve lived one and I have lived a few of those in my time. But glass half full gal that I am, I managed to push through with a tiny tweak to my medication and a slightly lower bulb wattage. Sometimes the dark is the least scariest place to be.

So after all that fuss we were suddenly project-less. Having nothing on our home improvement “to do” list was something we had only ever dreamed about, an impossible goal like me finally losing the baby weight or my husband cooking an edible meal. It was our Mount Everest and we had made it to the top; and much like Everest the view from there was spectacular (minus the black tile floors of course) and for 5 maybe 10 days we were content.

You see, the thing about achieving the impossible that people never talk about is that once you’ve done it, and the dust settles ( literally…because dry wall dust can linger like a chilli fart in a hot car mid July…true story) you find yourself in a sort of anti climactic state. The day to day moan and groan of the project is suddenly over and you’ve got nothing but free time.

So we decided to travel. We went to Victoria, Cabo San Lucas ( where we got a little drunk and bought a time share…another story for another day) and finally we took a cruise from New York City up through Atlantic Canada.

And that’s when it happened; when everything changed. Caution met wind and said “what the hell” and reason and logic decided to pack their bags call the movers and change time zones. We had an epiphany and it’s name was Cape Breton Nova Scotia. One minute we’re floating on the Atlantic eating at a lacklustre buffet and the next we are moving clear across Canada a mere 6,020 km from home.

Most people thought we had lost our minds, some people even speculated we had been entered the witness protection program. The truth is we’d found a new mountain top to climb.(not literally…I have a fear of heights and feel strongly that ascending mountains that require an oxygen tank and changes to my life insurance disclosure form are going to remain forever on my “never gonna happen” bucket list)

I guess for us life is supposed to be an adventure. Never dull never boring. And in keeping with that theme….I’ve saved the best for last..

We bought our new house on line sight unseen. Super exciting ( she wrote with a thick note of sarcasm) We Skyped the house inspection and our internet connection was spotty at best. Hind sight being 20/20 I would probably remember to not do that again because apparently during one of the spotty bits we missed the part that discussed the significant furnace and plumbing issues.

So as you can imagine, It’s been a roller coaster ride from the get go. So many stories. Like the one about the the septic system backing up into the basement 2 days after we moved in. Or the one where we left our milk out of the fridge over night and it was frozen like a slushy in the morning due to the furnace not being hugely functional.

Our beautiful new home is 125 years old and leaks like a broken sieve. It might try and break us but we will not falter. And while it’s true we may just have met our white whale, only time and me will tell that story, for now we ( and when I say “we” I am referring to my husband) will strap on our tool belts and charge up our power tools. We have preferred parking at homedepot and a new credit limit is being discussed. Let the adventures begin!

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5 responses to “Our life is like drywall dust….you never know where we’re going to land

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  1. It all began one morning in late August. I was headed downstairs to do laundry when I felt a drop of water land on my head.

    My reno-project-from-hell story begins the exactly that way and the story ends in a similar manner – except we moved to the Minnesota State Mosquito Refuge instead of Nova Scotia. BTW, how are the mosquitoes there?

  2. May the Time of 1000 Projects II keep you both both happy again, Jany. Oh, boy.

  3. I still contend this is one of the most exciting things I’ve read on a blog. What an adventure!

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