If you don’t have a plan…how would you know what you should have been?   16 comments


I am famous for the five year plan that runs into a huge snag about five minutes after its conception. In truth, I am not much of planner at all. I consider myself more of a proactive reactor, which basically means that I lightly pencil things in and when that doesn’t happen, I just bounce. It’s been working so far and as I always say if it ain’t broke ….it ain’t mine.

So where am I going with this?

Recently, I was listening/eavesdropping to a conversation between two moms at the mall. One of the ladies was talking about her son who is twenty-two and will be graduating from university next year. She said he had a very firm plan for the next ten years. He would get a job, buy a house, get married and have at least two children by the time he turned thirty. She said all this with great pride and without even the tiniest bit of hesitation.

I thought of my own life and could not help but wonder if a life could actually be lived with such efficiency?

Not my life obviously.

You see, at twenty-two I had a plan too. Not quite that structured but I definitely had a few core ideas that I was going to run with. First off, I was never going to get married or have any kids. I was going to be a journalist and travel the world. I was going to be fluent in at least three languages and live with two cats. My life would never be boring, and I would be the envy of all….other cat ladies.

So let’s reflect on how that plan fleshed out.

I am married with four children. I do remember telling my husband I wanted four cats, which is usually man repellant, but we were in a loud bar at the time, so I guess he misheard me and thought I said kids? I speak one language and can swear in three others. I have never traveled the world but I have Google Earth so that’s sort of the same. I never wrote a big story but I can write a heck of a grocery list. I live with one cat and three cat/dogs. My life is definitely not boring so I guess that worked out but as for being the envy of all, I think I would say, that I am more of a cautionary tale.

So was there a defining moment where my life plan took a u turn and ended up in opposite land? Probably. Does it matter? Probably not.

You see, the one thing I can always plan on, is that any plan I make usually ends up resembling a Picasso painting version of the original idea. That’s okay though, as I have never been a destination kind of a girl. I am all about the detours and roadblocks and I firmly believe that any life worth living should always be under construction or deconstruction depending on the day…which sort of explains a few of my other posts.


Posted October 15, 2014 by janyceresh in Uncategorized

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16 responses to “If you don’t have a plan…how would you know what you should have been?

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  1. Completely agree about Google Earth. I frequently use it to get away. Lets face it, you couldn’t take in some of those views without getting run over otherwise.. As ever. Great read.

  2. Hi. I’m visiting your blog for the first time.
    I loved this post of yours. Very direct and so true. You know, coming from a unstable financial background I like having things planned out. But it’s so true that you can’t really plan out every single fucking detail of your life. It’s just so exhausting no?

    Hahaha I love the line where you said that your husband misheard you. 🙂

  3. Hilarious! It put a smile on my face. I love to plan, but following through is not really my forte, unfortunately. I suppose my plan was to get married and have kids, but it has been a very different experience than I’d imagined!

  4. You made me laugh out loud with this one!! (Like I haven’t read a post of yours that hasn’t made me laugh out loud!!) I can so relate! I wasn’t going to get married or have ANY children! I was going to drive a semi-truck- and be ALONE. Or- the other option, marry a cowboy and have a ranch. With NO children. Yeah… That didn’t work out so well either!! We have some interesting lives though don’t we?

  5. PERFECT! The plan to not have a plan. Did you read my new year’s post about my husband’s mantra, “Daily Decisions Determine Destiny”? While I suppose it helps to have someone in the house thinking with that sort of diligence (or is it determination? destification? destination?!), there’s real value in just staying nimble enough to dodge whatever five-minutes-into-it throws you. Thanks for the reminder! (And the giggle.)

  6. You are delightful, entertaining and I love you don’t take the little things in life too seriously. Little things? Okay, most things. Why mess up a Picasso? 😀 😀 😀

  7. I’m with you! You can plan as much as you want but most often than not, Life will have her way with you and not the other way around. It’s way better to set an intention and then roll with what comes. Great post!

  8. Oh Honey I’ve crashed and burned on plans so many times, which is why I love the whimsical shout out, “Plot twist!” Life throws some fascinating speed bumps into our path and our tales tell all about how we handled them. At this point in my life, I’ve enjoyed a less rigid plan and embraced flexibility (with the occasional pencil to paper approach for conversation and sleep’s sake). Sometimes this actually requires a six-pack of local brew, a pizza ordered for delivery, a new pack of fat Crayola Twistables, and a gigantic newsprint pad.

  9. haha, i smiled today! thank you!

  10. My life has been closer to your way but my son’s is closer to the one described by the anonymous mom. Some of us are Picasso and perhaps some are closer to Escher.

  11. I would womp my 21 year old upside the head if he told me that was his plan. Its the prime time to experience life, figure out what is the best place for him, and enjoy himself. Plenty of time later for the rest and being bogged down.

    And I firmly believe us “proactive reactors” are MUCH better suited for life than those who over plan!

  12. Grocery lists and the plans to concquer the world … 🙂

  13. I can’t even remember if I brushed my hair today. I certainly couldn’t handle a five year plan.

  14. Did you ever hear the saying “You plan, God laughs”? Its good to have a plan, because then you can make the steps you need to achieve your goal, but sometimes life has other things in mind, and things go totally pear shaped. I believe for whatever reason we are here, we are where we are supposed to be.

  15. They say if you want to know if God has a sense of humour, tell God your plan 😄

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