Is it a bathing suit? Or a cautionary tale?   13 comments

Occasionally I ponder things. Not the big things, like are we alone in the universe or why it always rains about 12 hours after I wash my car. But from time to time I do think about the little nonsensical things that are of little or no importance to most everybody else on the planet.

You see, I guess deep down, I would like to be more contemplative but thinking the big thoughts is a real time sucker and I’m not entirely sure I’m all that qualified to comment on most of them. Philosophy seemed like it might have been a good college course to take but I was too busy thinking about how to get a job.

That being said I am currently pondering a bit of sticky wicket and I feel compelled to put it out there in the universe so that others might ponder it too. I’m sure it comes as no surprise but for those of us in the northern hemisphere summer has arrived (sort of) and with it brings (in my opinion) a myriad of social issues. One of which I’d like to discuss.

Should swimming suits be more expensive when they are merely a suggestion? What I mean to say is, when the coverage of said swim suit is not much more than a pasty and a bit of string?

Take a moment. Talk amongst yourselves.

I find myself wondering if it is the strategic engineering of the garment that drives the cost? It must be….I bet that there is a plethora ( word of the day…your welcome) of scientists held up in lab somewhere, probably Germany ( world famous for their engineering capabilities) coming up with these mind boggling designs. And If I were to hazard a guess I’d have to say that some of these suits must employ a degree of witchcraft and or prayer to keep them from revealing all the secrets of a woman’s nether regions.

And while I applaud their efforts….geniuses all…it begs the question what’s the point? Why would anyone willingly pay any amount of money for the mere illusion of a swim suit? Whatever happened to the speedo with its full coverage and snappy little logo. You could really swim in those without fear of exposing any of your bits or bobs. After all who wants to be the reason little Johnny learns about anatomy at the ripe old age 5. Not me.

Anyway regardless of all that this was just a thought I found myself thinking. If I am asked why it came to me on this particular day I’d have to say “no comment”. A girl should never discuss what she sees in the mirror of a changing room during bathing suit season. It’s just not decent.


Posted July 5, 2014 by janyceresh in Uncategorized

13 responses to “Is it a bathing suit? Or a cautionary tale?

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  1. Seriously, you could talk about corn on the cob and you’d make me chuckle. In fact, just considering the direction you would possibly take with corn on the cob already has me pre-chucking. Well played. (How I loved those Speedos. Solid or stripe. That was the only decision.)

  2. I like your mind wander.
    I was looking at an even simpler item yesterday: belts. And wondering how the hell they try and charge £10+ for a strip of material with a buckle…insane!

  3. Lol well done! Hilarious, had me cracking up!

  4. Got to say love the sarcasm. Very on point. Never really stop to think about all you said. See I have large rack as one might call it so I’m always making sure those puppies are strap in and no ones showing little Johnny his first live model of the female anatomy. But I guess that’s just a clothing strategy. Tinier Shorter smaller less fabric to cover well whatever ya been blessed with. And the same cost if not more. It’s crazy the idea that we pay more for being covered less. I mean it’s really oxymoronic really. Because thick girls have to pay more because allegedly it’s more fabric so plus sizes sometimes even x-large is more money then the regular sizes. So I have to pay extra money so my boobies don’t suffocate and it doesn’t look like I shopped in the kids section. But for bathing suits less fabric, quicker to make. You would think you pay less. Hmmm doesn’t make much sense to me. What about you?

    Side note: sorry for the ramble. But awesome articles. I’m loving your blog!!!

  5. Swimsuits come in two categories: the kind you buy to swim in, and the kind you buy to display your gym membership, personal nutritionist fees and how close you are with your salon (if you don’t exchange holiday cards and know each others birthdays, you’re not nearly close enough with your hair removal specialist to wear THAT suit.).

    I don’t think the swimsuit is a philosophical category so much as it an economical statement, which some would argue is a philosophy all it’s own. Especially since you mentioned German scientists.

    Given that I believe I have a sasquatchian ancestor (great grandfather, I think. There are no photos), I think it is safe to say that I will always buy the “swimming suits” (of which I can only find online at Tyr) as opposed to the “displaying suits.”

  6. I bought a bathing suit the other day that doesn’t look anything like a bathing suit. It’s basically a skirt and frilly tank that dry well. Where have all the one-pieces gone?

  7. I believe the theory is men, who really ain’t that smart at times, will pay big bucks to get girl friends into these suits. Only to find out they won’t wear it, this downside, ladies who want to buy and wear it get stuck with the same price!

  8. A lovely ponder. Here’s another why, as women’s bathing suits get smaller and more revealing. And I’m not really complaining here, do men’s get longer and less

    revealing. The men’s are even harder to swim in because they tangle up around the legs.
    And if you have the physique that icludes spindly legs they look seriously funny.

    They sell two piece suits rather than one piece because you then have to buy two items for the price of one.

  9. Ha ha . I haven’t worn a bikini for at least a century, but I DO not understand why such a skimpy outfit as a bikini should be so expensive. 🙂

  10. Eeeek! Tooth floss thin bikini bottoms and miniscule cloth triangles desperately trying to contain wayward boobs. Then to add insult to injury (and I mean injury, those floss like bottoms can cause serious nether region chaffing issues) an extortionate price? NO, NO, NO!

    I personally am looking forward to when fashion revisits the Victorian era and floor length beach bloomers once again become all the rage.

  11. I want a swimsuit that isn’t neon, that I can dive into a pool without any losses and that doesn’t result in no groceries for the month. So I’m asking for the impossible. That’s why I know sew my own! Unfortunately for swimwear designers I’m an active woman, not a sit on my backside and watch everyone else have a good time. Sigh!! I’m so with you on this one.

  12. Teenie bikinis first came to my attention at age 16. I was at a water slide with my siblings, when a young, obviously razorless woman came hurtling out of the chute in one of those skimpy little string swimsuits. As her various limbs thrashed furiously for balance, I noticed with horror that her bikini line had not been tended to for some time, if at all. Seriously, it looked like a fistful of spiders in a hair net. This has taught me two things. 1 – Ladyshavers are your friend. Use them. When it comes to bikini lines, there is no such thing as ‘It’s not that bad’. And 2 – wear boardshorts when you go to a water slide. What it hasn’t taught me is why Roxy, Billabong, Seafolly and all their designer friends think I would ever consider spending a week’s grocery money on a hair net to put my spiders in. But if I ever come up with an answer, I’ll get back to you.

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