Thank you but I don’t need a break

 

Just now, I threw another ball into the air. At this point I think the current number of balls I am juggling is about 3,978, give or take (margin of error on this number is directly proportionate to my propensity to exaggerate). Suffice it say there are professional clowns that are envious of my mad skills.

This week was beyond busy, and next week is shaping up to be just as bad. My To Do List is so extensive that I am experiencing carpal tunnel symptoms just writing it all down. Every time I check something off, I think of no less than three more things to add. Then my phone will ring, or an email will pop up, then I’ll get a text and someone will comment on my Facebook status and and and …

I know I am not the only person experiencing these challenges. I see the looks of quiet desperation on people’s faces when they are forced to wait longer than 2 minutes at the Tim Hortons drive thru. We might actually need to reassess our lives when we don’t have time to wait for coffee.

What are we trying to prove? We will never finish it. It’s a fools errand … Which reminds me, I have to pick up my dry cleaning and a new notepad so I can write more Lists.

Have you ever seen the hamster on the wheel chasing the cheese and never catching it? That’s me. Just a crazed animal, furiously chasing the ever elusive achievement of being finished … The List. Really, at this point I would be happy just to finish writing it; then at least I could get down to the ‘doing’ part of the exercise. Great, I forgot to write down exercise … I wonder, is extreme writing considered cardio? It’s times like this that having ADD can be both a curse and a blessing.

Squirrel.

So how do I cope? I used to say things like, “I just need a break.” I don’t anymore. Why, you ask?

It was about this time, 9 years ago. I was feeling so overwhelmed that all I ever seemed to say was,”I need a break.” I practically started and ended every sentence with those 5 words. Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘be careful what you wish for?’ The universe listens, and it thinks itself very funny. You see, as I was drowning in things I needed to do, and was calling out for a 5 minute timeout to pause and reflect, I was given just that.

I fell down the stairs and broke my back.
So I got the break I was looking for, with the added bonus of a literal break. I never ask for breaks anymore. Not a coffee break, a break in traffic, a spring break or even a commercial break.
I don’t even like to talk about checking my brakes; I just do this crazy little wordless play indicating to my mechanic he should check them. Thank goodness he gets me now, because I’m not going to lie, the first time I did this, I failed to properly communicate my needs. That led to a few awkward moments where the possibility of a restraining order may or may not have been discussed.

So now, I just ask for what I actually want; a vacation on a sunny beach in the Caribbean. So far, the universe has been pretty stingy handing those out; probably because this lacks the comedic irony it yearns for.

So where’s the ‘Ah Ha!’ moment of my story, the epiphany, the witty conclusion that ties this mad rant up in a nice bow and leaves you, the reader, feeling that all is well? To be honest, I don’t actually know. I do know that it was undoubtedly freaking brilliant. You would have been so impressed. It might have changed the very fabric of your existence. Sadly, I wrote it down on one of The Lists and proceeded to put it in a safe place so I wouldn’t lose it. We all know how that story always ends.

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41 thoughts on “Thank you but I don’t need a break

  1. Okay this is kind of creepy because I was thinking along these lines only last night! I was thinking I needed a break and I wanted things to change. Then, I said to myself…”self, be careful what you wish for.” I kid you not! Then, I read this. It is SO true. I hope your back is okay now? Yes?

    • I read the Secret shortly after I had my accident and it all became crystal clear. As for my recovery, I broke 3 vertebrae in my upper back but I recovered completely. I hope you have a wonderful retreat soon.

      • I go back to work tomorrow after having most of the week off, so that’s probably what I need! I need a break from vacation *giggle*. Well, that and more than 5 hours of sleep in a night. And OUCH on the back thing!

  2. Entertaining post…but sorry about the broken back thing. I imagine you’re happy that McDonald’s retired its circa 1970 slogan “You deserve a break today” back in 1975.

  3. I did NOT see the breaking of the back coming. Message received. I am changing my mantra to I need a vacation and I am being very specific to include the name of hotel and Hawaiian island now, I hope you get to the Caribbean soon.

  4. Aha! But now you can cross “Posting to my damn blog!!!” off the list. CHECK! (And I thought it was going to be a broken ankle. A broken back went above and beyond. You really need to stop with the over-achieving…)
    So glad to know I’m in such good company! (Time to go juggle some balls.)

  5. Wow — Seems like you and the universe communicate symbolically. So glad you were okay. Remember the slogan for Kit-Kat bars too. As far as lists, I no longer make “To Do” lists any more. I enjoy my “To Don’t” lists far better!

  6. I hear you! I need a break meself! But maybe I should stop saying that :) Sorry about your back. I cannot imagine the pain! But geez, I wish I was there when you first tried to explain what you wanted to the mechanic. Lol!

  7. Being confidently the most disorganised person I know, I am partial to a list myself but I wonder if anyone else writes them and then develops an almost phobic aversion to looking at them!? Perhaps it is an actual phobia – The fear of realising the incredible amount of STUFF that you need to do! frightening and debilitating.

    • Pinaciphobia (katastichophobia) fear of lists…..
      I am clearly not suffering from this …..lol. Thanks for reading I plan on stopping by your blog soon….it’s officially on my list….

  8. The precision and meaning of words – as we thoughtlessly throw them out to the universe, can literally, as you know, spell a lot of trouble. Problem is, in our “madness” and even when we are sarcastically joking, the greater force at play seems to appreciate the irony all together too well. And then – hah – indeed, we get what we wish for – and yes, something very similar happened to me – although I didn’t need to “outspokenly” ask for it. Hard lessons to learn – when one realizes that not only are spoken words potentially weapons, but our thoughts can be just as affecting too.

    Glad to know that you recovered – as for the endless list – just throw it away and start again – fresh – I mean seriously, there are only so many hours in a day, right? And if something has waited “this” long – then why worry about it. ;)

  9. I shouldn’t laugh because a broken back is not funny at all… but how you related that to wanting a “break” is just hilarious :) A great reminder that we should be very specific in what we wish for, or possibly suffer unintended consequences!

  10. Pingback: Mummy Bear’s Shout Out 1 | mummybearsblog

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